There is a certain inevitability about life that seems to become more clear as I get older. At first it feels like mortality, but as I rest in these feelings I understand that it’s much bigger. I have started to realize just how much of this world is beyond my control and how precious each moment is and it took the first 42 years of my life for my eyes to even begin to open. I have no control over what happens to me at any given moment, but I can control where I place my faith and I choose to trust God and Jesus Christ as my savior.
The more I ask God to bring me clarity and understanding, the more God brings me more questions. Truth is, I have all the answers I need at any given moment, but I never have all the answers I want. Maybe someone reading this is frustrated by it because you are struggling to pay rent, you’ve lost a loved one, a spouse has walked out or cheated on you, or maybe you lost a child … and you demand to know why. But I stand by my statement, the answers you need are there for you but you might have to accept you won’t get the answers you want.
At this point in my life, I’m not exactly where I wanted to be in any of my one, five, or ten year plans. I never expected to have just one child, I never expected to have a broken and failed relationship with her mother. I never expected to be living where I live, doing what I do, and feeling the emotions that I feel. However, in 2020 I opened the door and let Jesus in and since then I’ve felt my life starting to get aligned. It’s a very slow process to accept God’s love, the teachings of Christ, and the whispers of the Holy Spirit; however, I know that God is at work in my heart and on my life. I’ve felt a calling start to surface in my soul and my life goals have taken a drastic transition.
I’m struggling to understand the path from where I am to where I’m supposed to be. I’m struggling because I feel like I hear the Spirit telling me it’s time to move, time to step forward towards the future God has intended for me. Yet I’m still stuck on worldly challenges. I still have the daughter God blessed me with who still needs me to be her Dad and provide for her. I use to seek prestige through college degrees, certifications, and the prowess of my years of experience … but I find I need those worldly things less and less as I move forward on this journey, but at the same time I still lean on those accomplishments and the job they’ve provided for me. Clearly, I have more work to do.
I stepped into the light of God on October 2, 2020 during the pandemic, when my soul was growing weary and I felt a tremendous emptiness inside of me. The first sermon I attended was about the Apostles Creed and I while I can’t really remember exactly what the pastor said, I will never forget how I felt. As I sat there listening to the sermon, I felt the presence of God fill me with joy and I heard the Spirit rejoice in my decision, and at that point I knew I would never be alone again. I know that God is there for every moment of my life, even when I refused to listen. Now I am stepping towards a calling to the Church to serve God and bring others into his light and that is why I have endeavored to create My Ministry Mission.
I don’t know what God has in store for me, but I do know that I was created for a purpose. I was created with a unique role to play in God’s plan and it’s time for me to accept my role as his servant. Like many of you, I really wish I knew how all of this was going to look when it’s said and done, but I trust that God knows and he will guide me there so long as I’m willing to listen.
If this has stirred something inside of you, please join me on this mission. You can email me and share your story, offer suggestions for my podcast, or just ask curious questions. I use my podcast to share progress, share what I’ve learned, answer questions I have, and hopefully engage in some entertaining discussions!
My name is Jason, and this is my mission!
God bless you!